Opinion

Living Under Quarantine: My Lockdown Experience

Coping with lockdown post it notes

24th August 2020

 

Let’s face it, lockdown wasn’t easy for any of us. On March 27th  Ireland went into full lockdown, but just two weeks before that we began receiving alarming articles and alerts about people getting sick from Covid-19. It was terrifying to think that a virus we assumed was far away was now on our doorstep. I’m still a student at the National University of Ireland Galway and just before we went into an unofficial lockdown, students around the university began sharing disturbing videos of other students being walked off-campus by people in protective suits.

Obviously, we were all terrified, and the day after the video was published many of people I knew decided to skip classes that day. We received an announcement that the students in the videos were not Covid-19 positive but the damage had already been done.

I worked at the University as part of the well crew, we were based in “The Hub” which is a recreation spot for students with a large seating area and kitchen that is free to be used by all.  We had all the signs up about washing your hands and disinfecting but that was all before we knew that it wasn’t just a flu.

It sort of all came crashing down, didn’t it? Once the University closed it was obvious that we wouldn’t be back anytime soon, and that was terrifying. I have lived alone ever since moving away from home at the age of seventeen. I pay my own bills and take care of my own stuff legally speaking.  The Covid-19 crisis made me lose both of my jobs leaving me with my savings and with no option of getting new employment.

I’m originally from Ukraine and have spent the last thirteen years in Ireland away from my family, so when the pandemic reached most of Europe Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky made a public announcement asking for all Ukrainian citizens to return home. I was worried and tempted to go home, wait it out with my father and grandparents but the fear of bringing the unknown virus home to them was more terrifying than not seeing them.

The covid-19 unemployment payments finally allowed students to apply a couple of weeks after the payment was established which was a huge relief. Many students who didn’t have a job were forced to go home and abandon their student accommodation. I live in an apartment which I rent with two other girls and since I moved out permanently, I couldn’t go anywhere. I applied for the payment and was receiving the help I was so desperate for.

The unemployment payments helped with my paranoia too. The fear of getting the virus was getting to my head. I was afraid to leave my home, I was afraid of leaving my own bedroom and interacting with the girls in my apartment. I felt like the first couple of months were easier. Getting some time off after working non-stop on two different jobs as well as having studies on top of that. Now I had all the time in the world to do my best on my assignments and take some time off. I was working in a nightclub, so sleep was a luxury, I think I spent the first week curled up in a little ball sleeping.  But it wasn’t sleeping; I was hibernating.

 

“I was worried and tempted to go home, wait it out with my father and grandparents but the fear of bringing the unknown virus home to them was more terrifying than not seeing them.”

Slowly but surely as time went on things began getting harder. I was becoming restless like I’m sure many of us were. I had finished my college work and started my internship a couple of months early just to keep myself going. I made it my daily responsibility to make sure my family were okay. I would call my grandparents a couple of times a week, sometimes a couple of times a day just to double and triple-check that were safe.

Ukraine doesn’t have the financial luxuries of paying their citizens to stay at home which meant that most Ukrainians had no choice but to keep working, including my grandparents and father. The fact that they were working, and I was sitting on my backside was making me anxious and very upset. I missed home a lot; I missed my family. It seemed that most of my friends had their family close by while I was all alone. Thankfully I had my partner to keep me company and keep me sane.

I think the most terrifying part of lockdown was the emptiness. Every time one would walk down a shop street or through Eyre Square or even Salthill, there were people everywhere, but now it was like a ghost town. Not a soul to be seen, and if you did see someone you would make it your business to stay as far away as possible. It was weird to be asked to wear gloves or sanitize your hands when you entered a shop. It felt nice to walk into a place and feel safe thanks to the limitations of people being let inside and the extra precautions.

Once precautions started easing, I was eager to find a job. I was never one to sit around and not work for my money. I began sending out CVs to places I knew would be safe workplaces and I was slowly adjusting to leaving my home while wearing a mask at all times. I bought reusable ones and my neighbour’s mother made a few reusable masks that I was more than happy to wear around. They’re easy to wash and I find they are less wasteful. I really hated seeing the gloves and masks thrown on the ground like rubbish. It was disrespectful considering most countries and medical workplaces were struggling with gear.

And just like that life was getting back to what it was before lockdown. Of course, some changes to life long waiting lines and mask-wearing, as well as pre-booking, were all new. However, it seemed that people no longer cared for social distancing. Eyre Square was once again overcrowded, and Shop street was flooded. I won’t lie, lockdown PTSD was hitting hard. I was finding it hard to breathe and I would subconsciously avoid everyone in my way and cross the street to avoid walking next to people. The fact that now things were all back to normal after months of what felt like a post-apocalypse movie is weird.

I got a job as a pastry chef in my favourite spot in Galway… I had acquired new skills during quarantine and was happy that I made this change in my career, no longer had to deal with drunk people trying to harass me and no drinks spilt on me.

I felt like my life was getting to a place where I felt comfortable. But I often find myself in the kitchen, just doing my thing, listening to the radio, and the minute Covid-19 is mentioned I feel my eyes tearing up. I get anxious and I get paranoid. I wash my hands a million times a day where I have developed really had eczema on my hands. I miss my family every day.

Talking to them upsets me even more since I was supposed to spend my birthday with them, only to spend it without them. Ukraine is facing a rise in cases and there is little to nothing I can do to help. They won’t accept my financial help and I can’t go to help them. I’m jealous of those who got to spend time with loved ones during lockdown, because I would give anything to be with mine.

With time I feel like Covid-19 will be burned into the back of our brains as something that happened and “wasn’t that crazy?” I feel like after a while I will stop tearing up at the mention of Covid-19 and lockdown but that will take a lot of time. So many people have died, so many have had their lives turned upside down. Our world is still filled with uncertainties. The university is giving us mixed signals and I don’t really know what to do. But I will continue social distancing and wearing my mask, I encourage you to do the same. Keep yourself and your loved ones safe.

 

 

Featured photo by Sarah Kilian

 
 

 

 

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